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Expert Series: Nadia Kyba, MSW, RSW on Bullying Behaviors

  • October 1, 2020
  • Bullying Prevention, Video
CoachesParents
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Video Transcript

Content Warning: This video contains mentions of bullying and trauma.

Bullying’s really become quite a catchall phrase that a coaches in associations, as well as parents use to describe a wide variety of behaviors. When we’re thinking about bullying, it’s really important to understand what it is that we’re talking about. What is that behavior that we’re hoping to address. The problem with using the term bullying to describe this wide variety of behaviors is that, it’s quite a negative catch-all phrase, and it’s a label that can really stigmatize a young person, and follow them as they go up throughout their career as an athlete.

What I like to do when I’m talking about bullying is take a Trauma-Informed approach, which is an approach that really looks at an athlete as a complete person. So a Trauma-Informed approach considers all of the things that might be going on for that person within their experience on their team, in sport, but also at home, and perhaps if they have some stuff going on for them at school, as well as things that might’ve happened to them previously in their life. So when you take a trauma informed approach, you’re looking at a person much more holistically, rather than just, as that player on the team who has problematic behaviors.

Really normalizing conflict on a team can go a long way, because conflict is a natural part of any team’s growth, and development. When it comes up, people get really uncomfortable, and that’s when oftentimes terms like bullying gets get thrown around, because people are left with looking for a solution. Sometimes that solution is just blaming someone for something that they’ve done, rather than looking at the complexities of the bigger problem. If you are in the position as a coach, or as a parent to have, to have a conversation about bullying type behaviors, what can go a long way is to describe what the behaviors are, rather than using labels.

So having as much information as possible about what the behaviors was, so rather than using terms like, they were disrespectful, you could say something like, they invited all of the team members to go for coffee after practice, but excluded this team member, and they did it by text. Get some of those details when you’re talking to your child, or when you’re talking to your athlete, depending if you’re a parent, or a coach, but it’s hard for people to address issues if they don’t know the specifics. Athletes really often look up to their coaches, and watch their behavior, and take their cues from their coaches behavior.

So if a coach is an open communicator, is transparent with what their expectations are, is transparent about what the boundaries are for team behavior. Then athletes are following that, and kids who do have problematic behavior, and who come from backgrounds, where there has been trauma respond really well to that, to boundaries, and to guidelines that help them know how to behave, when they’re in group situations. It’s really helpful for coaches to establish a strong respectful team culture, right from the beginning of the season, and to take a zero tolerance policy on disrespectful behavior.

Sometimes I’ve seen coaches have that attitude that, things will pass, if they just look the other way, hopefully things will get better, or boys will be boys. Things like that. Girls will be girls. There’s drama. All those sorts of surface stereotypes. When coaches do that, they are being complicit in the behavior, because they’re not setting that team culture right from the beginning. So by taking a zero tolerance policy, when the team first comes together, the team then can develop in an effective way where conflict is managed, and communication is respectful.

There’s been a bit of a push over the last several years for parents to take a little bit more of a back seat in sport, because often we’ve seen parents become over-involved, and display some really problematic behaviors themselves. What is really important is for parents to remain involved, and to remain engaged in their child’s life in sport, in a positive way. So that means having regular communication with the coach, having a good understanding of what’s going on, on the team so they can then support their athlete to navigate some of the interpersonal dynamics that might be happening on the team.

Parents can be a great support to coaches as well as to associations in terms of the volunteerism, in terms of supporting your athlete to continue to stay in the sport. Just like the coach, or just like the athletes, parents are also a part of the team. They are the ones who athletes go home to at the end of practice, at the end of games, and they’re the ones who really have quite a lot of influence over for young athletes. So it’s really important for parents to model behavior that’s respectful. Communication that’s respectful that young athletes can use when they’re interacting with their own teammates.

It’s also really important for parents to create an atmosphere of openness, so that their athlete can go to them if they are facing problems, and if they are facing bullying type behaviors from their teammates. Then once parents hear from their child, they can go and talk to the coach with their athlete. Then look at what can be done to address some of the problem.

Content Warning: This video contains mentions of bullying and trauma.

TrueSport Expert, Nadia Kyba, MSW, RSW, explains how to take a trauma-informed approach when addressing bullying behaviors, and shares how both parents and coaches can best prevent and confront these behaviors..

Learn more about Nadia Kyba, MSW, RSW.

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Goal-Setting Lesson Video Transcript

Hi. I’m Trevon, Trey, Jennifer. Team USA wheelchair basketball player, paralympian, and true sport athlete. Today, I want to talk to you about goal setting. And there are three things that I would like you to know. First, successful athletes set goals and a planned roadmap. Second, goals should be written down, assessed over time, and changed if necessary. And third, goals need to be challenging in order to be worthwhile. As a freshmen at Edinboro University, I was a part of a team that made the national championship game. And at that time I recognized I was the low man on the totem pole, but I felt in my heart that I knew my dreams were so much bigger than winning a national title. I wanted to make Team USA. I knew what achieving my lofty goal was not going to be easy and that I would need to work hard every day.

So, as a reminder, I created a pyramid of goals that I kept right above my bed. This pyramid reminded me of the accomplishments that I was working towards and visually represented my need to create a solid foundation underneath me before reaching the top. In the bottom roll of my pyramid of goals I listed goals such as obtaining my bachelor’s degree, becoming a scholar athlete award recipient, and becoming an All-American. The middle row listed winning a national title and playing for a professional team. And at the top row, the most challenging of them all, I listed becoming a gold medalist for Team USA.

By understanding that there are smaller stepping stones to achieving my ultimate goal of being on Team USA, I was able to stay motivated and to stay focused on completing the smaller stepping stones fully before moving onto the next one. Now I’ll be the first to admit that not every goal that I listed on my pyramid was accomplished, but seeing my goals every day when I went to bed, I was able to push through the days that I felt like doing nothing in hopes of achieving the bigger picture. Remember, create a clear goal roadmap, assess your goals often, and continue to challenge yourself. I hope that you never stopped dreaming big or reaching for the stars. And I look forward to seeing where your roadmap takes you.

Body Image Lesson Video Transcript

Hi, I’m Kara Winger, Olympic javelin thrower, and true sport athlete. Today I want to talk to you about body image and I have three things I’d like you to know. First, healthy thoughts often lead to healthier bodies. Second, there are varying body types and no one’s body is exactly like another. And third, true beauty goes deeper than the skin. As a multi-time Olympian, I’ve experienced a lot of variation and progression in my training. My coaches and I adapt to my training frequently, all with the goal of supporting my long-term success and health in the sport of javelin. I’m talking to you about body image today because sometimes even with the best of intentions and a common goal in mind, the changes you make to your training habits can prove to be detrimental if made for the wrong reasons. In the lead up to the 2012 Olympic trials, I was told in order to improve my performance on the field, I should try to become a leaner, skinnier version of myself.

So I changed my diet. I went along with what I was being told to do, even though I’d had great success at a slightly heavier weight and higher body fat percentage, and became much leaner than ever before. It seemed like a successful change at first, but I didn’t have nearly the results I’d had before. And I believe becoming leaner than my body naturally wanted to be was what caused my ACL to tear. In the end, it cost me heavily going into the 2012 London games. The takeaway for me, and hopefully for you, is that it’s important to know what works for you and your body and to not compare yourself to others. You should do your research and experiment with your diet to find what makes you feel the best, rather than focusing on what you look like. Today, if I feel like having a chocolate chip cookie, I have one, just not every day.

I’ve learned what a properly balanced meal for my body looks like and I recognize food as the fuel that keeps me throwing. I hydrate and allow myself time to recover. And I listen to and communicate with my body so that I can be the best version of myself. In the end, you are in control of how you see, treat, and respond to your body. We only get one and it’s amazing to discover how many things our bodies can do. Be a true sport athlete. Love who you are in this moment and get excited for all the places your body will take you.

A Good Sport Lesson Video Transcript

Hi, I’m Izy Isaksen, Team USA, Modern Pentathlon, Olympian, US Army Sergeant, and True Sport Ambassador. Today, I want to talk to you about being a good sport. There are three things I’d like you to know. First, real winners act the same toward their opponent, whether they win or lose. Second, follow the rules and be a gracious winner and respectful loser. And third, sportsmanship reveals your true character.

I started competing in Modern Pentathlon eight years after my older sister and three-time Olympian, Margaux Isaksen, began competing. I soon realized that people often compared the two of us. I would overhear spectators and teammates asking, “Who’s the better athlete,” and “Who’s going to beat the other.” Instead of letting outside pressures create a negative experience for us, I chose to practice winning and losing with grace and respect. I know that it would have been easy to let our hyper competitive mindset affect our relationship, but instead we decided to support and cheer for each other, regardless of our own performance. My experience of competing against and being compared to my older sister, taught me to focus on how to perform at my best, rather than putting wasted energy into wishing for others to fail.

I believe that sportsmanship reveals true character. So, no matter what situation I encounter during competition, I know it’s important to always treat people with respect and be a good sport. Remember, be a fierce competitor, find grace in all your victories and losses. And I hope to see you out there.

What Kind of Coach Do You Want to Be? Video Transcript

Edwin Moses: You’re a coach. Maybe what you want is very simple, for everyone to just run in the right direction, score for their own team, to try and try again and again. Maybe you want your athletes to become all stars. You want them to earn trophies, medals, win titles. You want them to reach the highest height their sport allows. And wanting all of that, of course, that’s good. But as every great coach discovers, developing a great athlete means nurturing, nurturing the even greater person within. Truth is, you have even more influence than you know.

You have the ability to affect even deeper change, to take what’s in your hands and do something even more extraordinary. You can be both the coach who provides the skills needed to win the game and the coach who helps them learn and succeed beyond the sport, to become all stars wherever they land in the future, and to enjoy their lives more now, because the confidence and courage they find working with you will stay with them when they need it the most. There are games to be won, lives to change. Coaches have the power to do both.

I’m Edwin Moses, and the lessons I’ve learned through sport have challenged me, guided me, and shaped my life forever. What kind of coach do you want to be?

THE SIMPLE TRUTH: DECODING THE SUPPLEMENT INDUSTRY VIDEO TRANSCRIPT

At first glance, dietary supplements look the same. They seem safe and healthy, but just because the label says a product is a dietary supplement, that doesn’t mean it’s safe. Unfortunately, you can’t tell whether a product is safe or not just by looking at the label. Most vitamins, minerals, fish oil, and other supplements containing nutrients are probably just fine, but supplements are not evaluated or approved by FDA before they are sold. Although it is rare for vitamins or minerals to be contaminated with drugs, there has been at least one case of a vitamin containing an anabolic steroid.

At the other extreme are products that contain drugs, stimulants, anabolic steroids, or other hormones. Even though these are not technically dietary supplements, many of them are labeled as supplements. For example, body-building products sometimes contain anabolic steroids or Selective Androgen Receptor Modulators, known as SARMs, or other hormones. Some pre-workout or energy products contain illegal stimulants like DMAA, ephedra, or other amphetamine-like stimulants. Weight loss products might contain prescription drugs like sibutramine, or hormones, like human chorionic gonadotropin, also known as hCG. All natural or herbal sexual enhancement products might contain hormones or Viagra-like drugs. Products like these can harm your health and career, but they’re for sale online, in some nutrition stores, and they’re labeled as dietary supplements.

When you pick up a supplement, especially one that promises performance enhancement, you don’t know if it belongs in the “Mostly O.K.” pile or in the “Dangerous” pile. After all, two products might look the same, but one might contain just amino acids and other legitimate ingredients, while the other also contains anabolic steroids. Because of this, FDA has issued a warning about certain categories of supplements: body building products, weight loss products, and sexual enhancement products. Be extremely careful when considering a supplement in one of these categories. We strongly recommend that you avoid products in these categories.

Even when FDA tests supplements and finds dangerous ingredients, companies sometimes refuse to recall them. Sometimes, they simply repackage their product and continue selling it under a new name. Just because a product is on a store shelf doesn’t mean it is safe. You need to do your research and be an informed consumer. The dietary supplement industry is enormous. Supplements that appear to be safe could actually be dangerous products in disguise. If you use dietary supplements without doing your research, you may be taking serious risks with your health and your career. Please visit USADA’s Supplement 411 for more information about dietary supplements.