Expert Series: Celia Slater on Positive Coaching Behavior

There has to be some consistent standards that coaches’ personal values match the values of the athletic league that they’re working in. How coaches can be a really great role model in that is really looking at it beyond the wins and losses. Will that value of growth, let’s just say they have a high value of personal growth for the athletes, they have a high value that these kids become more confident, then what are they doing in what they say, how they act, how they behave to really elevate that for them?

For example, if they’ve lost five straight matches and the coach berates them because they’re not winning, then that really counteracts anything that we’re talking about, right, with growth, with confidence. The trick is really demanding and teaching coaches how to have a consistent level and their own sense of resiliency of dealing with those situations so that they always put the growth of the athlete first. They always build the confidence-building of the athlete first. It’s not about them.

So many of these questions circle back there to me of how do they be good role models? We have to teach them. We have to make them aware that everything they say and do is going to impact these kids. We want it to be a positive experience for these kids. The percentage of them going on to college to play or going on to the pros to play is so minuscule. What we’re really doing is building citizens. We’re building citizens that we hope will become better teammates, better role models themselves, and better friends with each other. They’ll know how to build healthy relationships.

It’s really a lot. It’s a lot to ask. But I do think, again, the majority of those coaches have good hearts and they’re really trying to do the right thing, and they really want to be good role models for these athletes. It’s such a powerful role.