Dr. Kevin Chapman addresses the concept of behavioral avoidance and how athletes can ultimately experience greater complications when they avoid dealing with conflicts that arise on and off the field.
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Video Transcript
Dr. Kevin Chapman: Behavioral avoidance is a strategy that we all use. If we’re honest with ourselves, we all engage in some form of behavioral avoidance. And, behavioral avoidance really refers to strategies I use that require me to engage in certain behaviors that is really aimed at making emotions go away. So, it’s something that I do as a way to try and feel better, but the irony is that, it backfires and makes me feel worse. So, anything that I do that is a strategy to try to get some temporary relief from strong emotions is what we’ll refer to as behavioral avoidance, like not going to places.
There’s five ways we avoid emotional experiences through behaviors. So, one way we avoid through behavioral avoidance is what we call “overt avoidance,” A.K.A, “I’m not going.” So, it’s kind of like if someone says, “Hey, there’s this gathering, there’s this get together at this place.” Nope, not going. Or, “Oh, there’s a lot of people at this mall.” Nope, not going. So, no means no, so overt avoidance is, “I am not going.” No is no. It’s something I’m simply not doing, period. So, there’s no smoke and mirrors whatsoever.
A second type of behavioral avoidance, which is much more subtle, is what we call “subtle behavioral avoidance.” And, subtle behavioral avoidance is what I like to tell people, “I’m there, but I’m not all the way there.” So, here’s some common examples of subtle behavioral avoidance. It’s like saying, “Yeah, the family’s at my house but I’m going to sit in the theater room by myself,” or, “I’m going to the social gathering, but I’m only going to speak to familiar people,” or, “I’m going to order my food, but I’m not going to make eye contact,” or, “I’m going to the movie theater, but I’m going to sit on the aisle seat just in case something happens.” So, it’s this idea that I’m going to go if you go with me. So, I’m going to these situations but I’m subtly avoiding the full intensity of an emotional experience. So, that’s what we call subtle behavioral avoidance. I’m only talking to people I’m comfortable with, for example.
Another form of behavioral avoidance is what we call “cognitive avoidance,” A.K.A. “thought suppression.” It’s like saying, “I’m going to try everything I can to not think about that.” It’s like, block out this thought, I put my fingers in my ears to distract myself, I change the T.V. channel, I might use music as a way of distraction. Worry actually is a form of cognitive avoidance because what I’m avoiding with worry is really the emotional experience that’s associated with it and a feared outcome. So, I’m trying to problem solve, in the case of worry, something that has a very unlikely chance of occurring anyway. The problem with that type of avoidance, is like if I’m saying, “f I told you to think about anything you want for the next 60 seconds but you cannot think of a polar bear, don’t do it, not even once, ready, go!” We inevitably think of a polar bear. So, the point of cognitive avoidance or thought suppression, is that it might seem like a good idea to give me some relief from an emotion, but it doesn’t work because it makes me think of the thing I don’t want to think about.
So, a fourth type of behavioral avoidance is what we call “a safety signal.” This is what I like to refer to as Linus’s blanket from Charlie Brown and Peanuts. So, it’s like something I have to carry with me or have on me at all times that makes me feel better, but it only works temporarily. So, it’s kind of like saying, “I have this rabbits foot in my pocket but I can cross the bridge if I have it in my pocket, like I’ll be fine,” or, “I have to have someone with me when I go certain places,”or, “I don’t have asthma, but that one time I had an asthma attack, so therefore I have to carry this inhaler on vacation just in case.” So, it’s this idea that I keep something with me to feel better, but again, all these strategies backfire or make me feel worse.
And then finally, the last type of behavioral avoidance is what we call “an emotion-driven behavior,” or what we like to call an E.D.B. And that’s basically saying, it’s something I do in an overreaction to an emotional experience. It’s like saying, if I’m having panic symptoms in Target, I would flee or escape right away, or, if I feel really sad or depressed, I might isolate myself for an extended period of time, or, if I get angry, I might hurl insults on purpose, so you can feel my pain. It’s like this overt behavior. It’s kind of the opposite of overt avoidance, where as overt avoidance is like, no, I’m not going, an emotions behavior is on the other end of the continuum. It’s like saying, “Oh, I’m going to do it, but I’m going to do something that you are going to observe and see.”
If you think about how avoidance operates, the whole point of avoidance is that it gives me a sense of temporary relief. And not sometimes, but it always backfires and perpetuates strong emotions. So, when you think about an athlete and their well-being and their performance, avoidance only serves the function of making me feel better or confident temporarily. So, the first piece is recognizing that avoidance always makes emotions more intense. So, once I have that revelation, the second most important piece is to start identifying what I call “alternative actions” or also known as “incompatible behaviors.” So alternative actions and incompatible behaviors. What is something that allows me to fully experience certain emotions that then I can recognize, what I like to refer to as, “the emotional law of gravity.” What goes up, must come down. So, the emotional law of gravity means, what goes up, must come down. In other words, emotions run a natural course. If I’m in a situation with a coach, in a game situation, at practice, if I’m put on the spot in class, whatever it might be, whatever situation I might face as an athlete, I have to recognize that there’s always an ebb and flow with emotional experiences. Avoidance never allows me to experience that, though, and my body’s natural reaction to that. So, in other words, what happens is that if I engage in an incompatible behavior, for instance, if it’s, “I don’t want to talk to my coach because he’s going to be mad at me, so I avoid talking to him about playing time,” that’s a good example, I think. So, if I confront that situation and make the decision to talk to coach after practice, my anxiety’s probably going to go all the way up to a peak, but what happens naturally if I don’t escape, is that it’s going to level off like that, and then it’s going to drop on it’s own. What happens, my anxiety goes down, I feel more self-confident, and there’s positive consequences more than likely because my coach now knows that I can approach him or her with a certain problem or situation, and now there’s an open dialogue and communication.
So, ultimately, engaging in an alternative action, in other words, confronting the emotion, always leads to me feeling better, not only with my self-confidence, but also about me being able to manage emotions more effectively long-term, which builds skills, not only as an athlete during my performances, but way after I’m done with my sport.
